A PARENT\u2019S
\nGUIDE TO
\n12 Days of Christmas<\/p>\n
A PARENT\u2019S GUIDE TO 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
\nPublished by David C Cook
\n4050 Lee Vance Drive
\nColorado Springs, CO 80918 U.S.A.
\nIntegrity Music Limited, a Division of David C Cook
\nEastbourne, East Sussex BN23 6NT, England
\nThe graphic circle C logo is a registered trademark of David C Cook.
\nAll rights reserved. Except for brief excerpts for review purposes,
\nno part of this book may be reproduced or used in any form
\nwithout written permission from the publisher.
\nThe website addresses recommended throughout this book are offered as a resource to you. These websites are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement on the part of David C Cook, nor do we vouch for their content.
\nUnless otherwised noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION\u00ae, NIV\u00ae Copyright \u00a9 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.\u00ae Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version\u00ae. Copyright \u00a9 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
\neISBN 978-0-8307-7678-8
\n\u00a9 2018 Axis
\nThe Team: Wendi Lord, Toben Heim, Rachael Stevenson, Ashley Ward
\nCover Design: Nick Lee
\nFirst Edition 2018
\n1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10<\/p>\n
12 Days of Christmas
\nFIIIIIIVE GOOOOLDEN RIIIIIIINGS! Oh wait, just kidding. Thankfully, that\u2019s not the 12 Days of Christmas we\u2019re talking about. (But you\u2019re welcome for getting the song stuck in your head!)<\/p>\n
So what are you talking about?<\/p>\n
Did you know that Christmas hasn\u2019t always been celebrated as a one-day affair? Throughout its history, Christmas has been a whole season according to the Christian calendar. A 12-day season, to be precise\u2014a season that is best experienced after entering fully into the season of Advent.<\/p>\n
Side Note<\/p>\n
This guide is a follow up to our Parent\u2019s Guide to Advent and thus a lot of this will make the most sense after reading and celebrating Advent. However, a great deal can still be gleaned from this guide regardless of if and how you celebrated Advent. But if you do want a deeper look at Advent and how it precedes a profound understanding of celebrating Christmas, check out A Parent\u2019s Guide to Advent before or after you read this one! For those who did read and embrace the ideas in the Advent guide, and if you\u2019ve managed to hold off on celebrating Christmas in its fullness for the majority of December, congratulations! It\u2019s not easy. And now you\u2019re probably asking what\u2019s next. Read on, friends!<\/p>\n
What exactly is Christmas?<\/p>\n
Who doesn\u2019t know what Christmas is? It\u2019s December 25, the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus by giving each other gifts and eating a lot of food. But it\u2019s not really so simple, is it? There are a lot of other traditions and ideologies mixed in, and Christmas looks very different for different people. Finding the perfect gifts for all the people you love. Candlelight Christmas Eve services. Baking cookies and putting out milk for Santa Claus and his reindeer. Tense family dinners wrought with unrealistic expectations or political debates. Some sort of generic, Madison-Avenue-driven \u201choliday.\u201d Missing loved ones who are no longer with us. Finding the perfect Christmas tree. Credit card debt. Stress. Time off work. Beautiful Christmas carols. Annoying Christmas music, like \u201cI Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.\u201d (Another one stuck in your head!) Joy. Traditions. Sentiment. Decorations. Food. Movies. And much, much more. And that\u2019s only describing the Christmas we know in modern-day America.<\/p>\n
How has Christmas changed over the centuries?<\/p>\n
Obviously, Christmas \u201cstarted\u201d with the birth of Jesus, but our modern holiday has its origins in pagan winter solstice feasts. It wasn\u2019t until the fourth century that the church decided to set apart time to celebrate the birth of Jesus\u2014the incarnation\u2014at that same time of year. Then in the seventeenth century, the Puritans actually got rid of Christmas in England because they thought it had become too worldly. (Imagine what they would think now!) The pilgrims who went to America followed suit, and Christmas was not a widespread celebration in the early years of our country. It regained popularity in the 1800s, around the same time Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol. (Check out this fascinating blog series on how this one work of literature almost single-handedly revived Christmas.) It was then declared a federal holiday in America in 1870. Over the next hundred plus years, many of the traditions and practices we see in our modern-day version of Christmas were slowly adopted. Because of this history, some people believe that the pagan origins of Christmas are reason to abandon it entirely. We\u2019ll come back to that later.<\/p>\n
How does the Christian calendar fit in here?<\/p>\n
The way we as a culture tell time says something about what we love. The purpose of the Christian or liturgical calendar is to order our physical and spiritual lives around God\u2019s big story, helping us to love the right things. As we walk through each season, we reenact another small piece of the story He\u2019s written and is still writing. In this traditional calendar Christians have used for centuries, Christmas starts on December 25 and lasts for 12 days until January 6, Epiphany. (This helpful website makes it clear whether it is Christmas or not, in case there\u2019s any confusion.)<\/p>\n
The beauty of observing these traditions is that we don\u2019t hunker down in Advent forever, just waiting and biding time until Jesus comes again. Salvation has already come, the kingdom has been ushered in, it\u2019s begun! It\u2019s time to celebrate! Yet most Christians don\u2019t observe this 12-day ritual: \u201cBut often the focus falls on giving Advent its due, with the 12 days of Christmas relegated to the words of a cryptic traditional carol. Most people are simply too tired after Christmas Day to do much celebrating.\u201d Celebrating for 12 days sounds great in theory, but thinking through all the logistics, preparing, planning, cleaning, hosting, etc. that would entail is enough to wear us out.<\/p>\n
But blogger Greg Goebel offers a solution! He thinks we should start a 12 Days Conspiracy and bring back the 12-day celebration: \u201cI suspect that at some point we scraped the icing off the cake, trying to get to the good part first. And then we felt too sick to our stomachs to eat the actual cake. The remedy is to save that cake until birthday time, and then cut off a little slice each day, enjoying each bite.\u201d So bringing back the 12-day Christmas tradition doesn\u2019t have to involve a full-blown, all-hands-on-deck kind of celebration each day. Rather, it simply means having small, more-manageable celebrations.<\/p>\n
Wait! Should Christians even participate in Christmas? Isn\u2019t it selfish?<\/p>\n
Besides the holiday\u2019s roots in pagan practices, we must also consider what Christmas has evolved into, which seems to be the wanton consumption of material goods. Because of that, Christmas just encourages selfishness and materialism, so we should wash our hands of it, right?<\/p>\n
Before we go down that path, we must remember the whole reason we are celebrating is this miracle of the incarnation\u2014God made flesh. We cross a dangerous line into dualism or gnosticism when we treat the physical\/material world as bad and think that goodness only resides in the spiritual\/non-physical realm. We need to acknowledge that there is not one without the other. When Jesus became man, spirit and flesh became forever intertwined.<\/p>\n
Instead of pulling away altogether, we have the opportunity to redeem something that has arguably become worldly in many ways. (This may very well have been one of the intentions of Christians starting Christmas in the first place.) Yes, we absolutely must be intentional in looking at how our Christmas liturgies are shaping us, but our celebrations should be an enjoyment of this physical world that\u2019s been given to us, not a denial of it. The problem isn\u2019t the \u201cstuff\u201d; it\u2019s the hearts that take it for granted or struggle to be grateful.<\/p>\n
Having said that, we shouldn\u2019t go too far the other direction and embrace modern Christmas wholeheartedly. We need to remember that there\u2019s no salvific effect of gift-giving or fun or food or family time on its own. When our celebrating is misdirected, we end up making idols out of the created, rather than worshipping the Creator. And idols always, always let us down. Christmas then becomes a task-oriented and difficult holiday. But we can\u2019t just agonize over the world\u2019s false worship in a reactionary way. We are called to worship God not just do whatever is the opposite of our pagan neighbors. Instead of being overly reactive, we can be obedient.<\/p>\n
Too often we feel this need to somehow fit Jesus into Christmas. If we\u2019re honest, that part of Christmas feels boring while things like Santa Claus and opening gifts feel like the exciting part. Perhaps we obligatorily trudge our way to the Christmas Eve service so we can check it off the list and get down to the business of really enjoying Christmas. If you or your family experience this, you\u2019re simply feeling the tension of trying to reconcile true Christmas joy with a counterfeit.<\/p>\n
Deep down we long for our Christmas celebrations to declare truth about God and what He\u2019s done, yet something in us can sense that it\u2019s missing. But it doesn\u2019t have to be. We can and should still enjoy all of the magic and deliciousness of Christmas, without guilt, when we open our eyes to see the magnitude of what we are celebrating, when we realize there is something much, much greater at stake in our celebrations. Christmas is an opportunity to celebrate the glorious gospel in all its fullness.<\/p>\n
So how do we better understand what we\u2019re celebrating?<\/p>\n
The sacred side of Christmas has sometimes been reduced to this quaint, charming, static nativity scene. A chubby baby in a manger, with the adoring eyes of Mary, Joseph, and the shepherds looking on and angels singing above. It\u2019s a beautiful and meaningful picture, but perhaps it stops short. It\u2019s so familiar that we forget its gravity and magnitude. It\u2019s not that we don\u2019t think it\u2019s important Christ was born to a virgin mother in humble Bethlehem, but we forget why this matters so much. Christmas might have begun in this stable, but it certainly doesn\u2019t end there.<\/p>\n
In order to help our families better grasp the gravity of Christmas, we must first begin by reflecting on why we needed Christmas. (As mentioned earlier, observing Advent really helps with that.) Then we must talk about and reflect on everything that was accomplished through Christmas.<\/p>\n
Christmas isn\u2019t just a baby in a barn; it\u2019s a rescue operation, an invasion. It\u2019s God coming to reclaim His precious treasure that was lost. Heaven invading earth. Divinity claiming humanity and never giving it back. It\u2019s hope for a situation that was completely hopeless. There was nothing we could do to rescue ourselves. We couldn\u2019t ascend to God, so He descended to us. The highest we can climb on our own comes nowhere close to the heights of the glory and riches God has for us. Christmas is the birth of not just a king, but the King.<\/p>\n
Yes, we\u2019ve heard it all before, but it can become so rote that it bears repeating: The heart of Christmas is the gospel\u2014that God has accomplished fully and completely that which we could never do on our own. Without Christmas, there is no Easter. His birth, death, and resurrection open the door to new life for us. He became like us so we could become like Him.<\/p>\n
Christmas doesn\u2019t start with us. It\u2019s only a response to what\u2019s been freely given. We can only love because He first loved. We can only give because He first gave. It humbles and reminds us that it has nothing to do with us, while simultaneously whisking us up into a story that has everything to do with us. Christmas is mystery and abundance. The gospel is too lofty for us to fully comprehend, too great a gift to fully behold. Yet it\u2019s been revealed, made incarnate, given for us to behold and receive. The goodness we taste and see in Christmas is only a taste of what\u2019s to come.<\/p>\n
Even when we don\u2019t fully understand, we can say as Mary did, \u201cLet it be to me according to Your word\u201d (Luke 1:38 NKJV).<\/p>\n
Advent points us to the hopeless state we were in before God reached in and came down. And Christmas invites us to behold the greatest gift ever given.<\/p>\n
What\u2019s the tone and feel of the 12 days of Christmas?<\/p>\n
They should hopefully look like one big, long, joyful feast. Exciting, right? But sometimes, fasting (i.e., Advent) is more comfortable than feasting (i.e., Christmas) because we\u2019re well aware of the brokenness in the world. And in some sense we are living now in Advent, waiting for Jesus to return and restore all things. But as we wait, it\u2019s easy to forget God\u2019s promises. We forget they will be fulfilled. We forget the magnitude of what He\u2019s done and is doing and all He has in store. We\u2019ve waited so long and our lives look so bleak that it\u2019s hard to celebrate. Sometimes our feasting reflects our forgetfulness.<\/p>\n
On the other hand, we also live in such comfortable circumstances that we become complacent and we forget how to taste and smell and see the wondrous things before us. John Piper says, \u201cWe\u2019ve grown dull to the wonder of ample food and drink through constant use, and overuse. When every day is a virtual feast, we lose the blessing of a real one. When every meal is a pathway to indulgence, not only is fasting lost, but true feasting is as well.\u201d Our feasts look more like consuming than receiving. More like indulging, binging, and gluttony than true festivity, merrymaking, and revelry. Sometimes our feasting reflects our apathy.<\/p>\n
Our feasting falls flat or turns into overindulgence when it\u2019s aimed in the wrong direction. But it\u2019s not that we go too far into feasting. It\u2019s that we don\u2019t go far enough into true feasting.<\/p>\n
Feasting for 12 days might very well be next to impossible. Our bodies aren\u2019t ready for the feasting to go on forever. But someday they will be. And we get a foretaste of that now. Just because we don\u2019t do it perfectly doesn\u2019t mean we shouldn\u2019t do it at all (though we are absolutely free to feast or not feast, to celebrate Christmas or not celebrate it). As we feast, we declare the truth and we say without words what we believe, even if we can\u2019t always feel it or see it clearly. What we really believe is exposed, and simultaneously our belief can be shaped into what it ought to be. Our feasting forms and shapes us into worshippers.<\/p>\n
When we feast, we revel in God\u2019s glory, creation, and powerful works. Interestingly, the word revel comes from rebel. So we\u2019re asking you to rebel this Christmas, why? What are we rebelling against? We\u2019re feasting as part of a revolution. We\u2019re feasting because the revolution has started. Darkness no longer reigns. Sin and death have been conquered. Evil will not triumph. Our feasting isn\u2019t dependent on our current circumstances, on what we have or what we lack. Here are a few excerpts of a beautiful \u201cLiturgy for Feasting with Friends\u201d from a wonderful book called Every Moment Holy.
\nTo gather joyfully
\nis indeed a serious affair,
\nfor feasting and all enjoyments
\ngratefully taken are,
\nat their heart, acts of war.
\nIn celebrating this feast
\nwe declare that
\nevil and death,
\nsuffering and loss,
\nsorrow and tears,
\nwill not have the final word \u2026
\nMay this shared meal, and our pleasure in it,
\nbear witness against the artifice and deceptions
\nof the prince of the darkness that would blind
\nthis world to hope.
\nMay it strike at the root of the life that
\nwould drain life of meaning, and
\nthe world of joy, and suffering of redemption.
\nMay this our feast fall like a great hammer blow
\nagainst that brittle night,
\nshattering the gloom, reawakening our hearts,
\nstirring our imaginations, focusing our vision
\non the kingdom of heaven that is to come,
\non the kingdom that is promised,
\non the kingdom that is already,
\nindeed, among us \u2026
\nTake joy! \u2026
\nAll will be well!<\/p>\n
(We encourage you to print out the entire liturgy and read it together before your next party or shared meal or before Christmas dinner!)<\/p>\n
We have a hard time feasting because we\u2019re always questioning: Did we really win the revolution? It doesn\u2019t always look or feel like the revolution has been won. We have doubts. That\u2019s why it\u2019s hard for us to feast, and it\u2019s exactly why we should feast. It\u2019s important because it helps us see that the ordinary, plain lives we live are not just ordinary. We\u2019re embodied soul creatures, not mere mortals. Maybe this Christmas thing matters more than we think it does.<\/p>\n
Can we properly feast while we\u2019re all on our phones?<\/p>\n
No. No, we can\u2019t.<\/p>\n
What should we do with our current Christmas traditions and liturgies?<\/p>\n
Remember that Christmas is as much for a single mother living in poverty in Haiti as it is for a wealthy middle-class American living in abundance. Examine your Christmas habits with this as your litmus test. Think of that young mother. If what you\u2019re doing isn\u2019t relevant and applicable to her life, then it isn\u2019t essential. You can let it go. Feel freedom to celebrate as you choose, but don\u2019t burden yourself with unnecessary things that add financial stress and emotional chaos to your life.<\/p>\n
What should we keep in mind as we celebrate Christmas, particularly with our teens?<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t make it burdensome. What do you want your children to \u201ccatch\u201d through their time in your home? What is the \u201cbackground hum\u201d or \u201cwallpaper\u201d of your home? In his book You Are What You Love, James K. A. Smith cautions:
\nYou could have Bible \u201cinputs\u201d every day and yet still have a household whose frantic rhythms are humming along with the consumerist myth of production and consumption. You might have Bible verses on the wall in every room of the house and yet the unspoken rituals reinforce self-centeredness rather than sacrifice.1<\/p>\n
Your children are guests in your home today, but someday they\u2019ll be forming their own homes. Do you want them to remember lots of legalistic rules and things you didn\u2019t allow them to do? Only buying them one gift because any more than that would be indulgent and excessive? Or so much excess that there was no space for appreciation and gratefulness?<\/p>\n
Christmas should be fun. We should love Christmas in every way possible. Don\u2019t over-spiritualize Christmas. Just enjoy it. It is not unholy to have fun. Hopefully you don\u2019t think that way. If you do, stop it.<\/p>\n
Before our children can even understand and articulate fully what Christmas is about, we want them to feel and experience Christmas, to be enchanted by it. By helping them experience it, we essentially say, \u201cThis is what God\u2019s love feels like and tastes like and sounds like.\u201d Christmas isn\u2019t the opportunity for a lecture, but a chance to show them the hope and joy we have. And when they ask why we do this, we should have an answer for them.<\/p>\n
Okay, but what about Saint Nicholas and Santa Claus?<\/p>\n
The real Saint Nicholas, the man behind the fictitious Santa Claus, was a bishop in the third century. He was orphaned at a young age and received a large inheritance. He is known for his generosity and his anonymous gift-giving. A children\u2019s book, The Legend of Saint Nicholas, says that \u201che made it his purpose in life to use all of his wealth and strength to help people in need and to glorify the Lord.\u201d2 The story goes that Saint Nick knew of a man who couldn\u2019t afford a dowry for his daughters, so he threw bags of gold through his window at night, possibly saving the girls from being sold into prostitution.<\/p>\n
This is a message different from what we get from some of our culture\u2019s versions of Santa Claus, which basically paint him as a granter of wishes. In that version, the emphasis is mostly on what the recipient wants. But the real Saint Nicholas teaches us more about giving than getting. In his giving, he cared deeply about justice for the \u201cleast of these.\u201d And he used his wealth to glorify God. We can also be intentional in our generosity and gift-giving and not feel guilty when God has given us much in the way of material things. Instead, we can be purposeful about what we buy and where it comes from and care about the people who made it.<\/p>\n
So should we stop giving gifts altogether?<\/p>\n
Definitely not. Being generous to others and blessing them is a huge part of modeling Christ\u2019s love to them. But as we do that, we must start being aware of how what we buy affects other people\u2019s lives, especially those across the world we don\u2019t see or hear about. There are wonderful businesses that connect consumers with skilled artisans and craftsmen who make beautiful things and are paid fairly for their work. There are companies that have good labor practices and working environments. And unfortunately there are also many that don\u2019t. Check out here and here for ideas on how to shop ethically.<\/p>\n
Spending money this way is mutually beneficial to everyone, allowing us to give quality gifts while helping someone earn a living wage. It\u2019s also worth watching the documentary The True Cost (available on Netflix) together as a family. But don\u2019t come away from it with guilt; instead, see it as an invitation into a more beautiful and rich way of living in this world and loving others with the most basic decisions we make. Consider bringing in Christmas traditions from around the world to remind us that we\u2019re part of a global people and that our lives are connected.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s one thing to strive with reckless abandon to accumulate more and more, never satisfied, and conveniently disregard how our consumption affects anyone else in the world. But it\u2019s another thing to reject the gifts God has put right in front of us. To ascetically deny ourselves pleasure and good things isn\u2019t what we\u2019re called to. He is a good Father who wants us to enjoy the good things He has made.<\/p>\n
How can I use Christmas to model giving to my kids?<\/p>\n
Give generously with your money. But also, give yourself. Christmas isn\u2019t the gift of something, it\u2019s the gift of someone. Give gifts, but also give yourself to your family. Put aside your to-do list and frenzied rushing about to get things done and just be together. Give your time. Give full attention to your teens as they tell you about something you\u2019re not the least interested in hearing about. And don\u2019t resent them when they\u2019re not grateful for all you\u2019re giving. Right now, your children are in a place of experiencing Christmas through receiving, and we have the privilege of giving it to them. This is a great reflection of God\u2019s unmerited gift of grace of which none of us is worthy and for which none of us is nearly grateful enough.<\/p>\n
Give not from a place of guilt but from a place of abundance and generosity. Look at how much you\u2019ve been given by looking beyond how the world defines abundance. We have an inheritance that is more than we could imagine or ask for!<\/p>\n
What do we actually do during the 12 days of Christmas?<\/p>\n
There are a few specified days to commemorate during Christmastide. It might help to let them guide the rhythm of your days:<\/p>\n
The Feast of Saint Stephen, December 26<\/p>\n
Stephen is remembered for his giving, both in his care for the poor and in giving his life as the first martyr. What better way to follow the abundance of gifts received on Christmas Day than to spend the next day giving back to those less fortunate? There are a number of ways you could do this, even with something as simple as shopping the alternative Christmas giving options like World Vision and deciding as a family how to give. And listen to the song \u201cGood King Wenceslas,\u201d which tells the story of this feast day.<\/p>\n
Honoring the Apostle John, December 27<\/p>\n
In contrast to dying a martyr\u2019s death, John lived a full, long life. This is a day for thanking God for the life and health He\u2019s blessed us with, for however long that may be, and it\u2019s a day to celebrate the love He\u2019s given and that we extend to others. It\u2019s traditional to drink wassail or mulled wine on this day. Invite friends to gather with you for dessert and a toast!<\/p>\n
Remembering the Holy Innocents, December 28<\/p>\n
This day commemorates the infants who died at the hands of King Herod (Matt. 2:16\u201318). We remember that in our present time, joy and grief are often intermingled. So we mourn those and other innocent lives that have been lost, but we also celebrate that the most humble and lowly and unseen lives matter. Jesus welcomed the littlest children into His kingdom. You could make this a day for celebrating your children (although arguably this might already happen way too much) by letting them decide the activities and meals for the day. But definitely skip the English medieval practice of beating your children on this day.<\/p>\n
Feast of the Holy Name\/New Year\u2019s Day, January 1<\/p>\n
This Luke day falls eight days after Christmas, which is important because Hebrew babies were circumcised and given a name eight days after they were born (see 2:21). It was already known that \u201cJesus\u201d (a form of Joshua, meaning \u201cGod saves\u201d) would be His name. Jesus is referred to by many other names in the Bible too. See how many you and your teens can come up with and then compare them to this list. (You could make a competition out of it, if that\u2019s the way your family rolls.) It\u2019s interesting to discuss why Jesus was given each of these names. There are plenty of traditions already in place to celebrate the new year, but as you reflect on the last year and look forward to the next, do so through the lens of these names that describe Jesus\u2019 character, who He is, what He\u2019s done, and what He\u2019s promised to do.<\/p>\n
Other practical ways to celebrate Christmas:
\n\u2022 Don\u2019t Stop. Leave up your decorations, tree, and nativity through the end of Christmastide. (Makes putting up all those decorations worth it!)
\n\u2022 Have Fun. If you\u2019ve held off on the celebration during Advent, now is the time to go hog wild with all your favorite Christmas traditions and fun! Watch all the movies. Drink all the hot chocolate. Listen to all the music. Eat all the food.
\n\u2022 Gifts. Don\u2019t rush through the celebration. Instead of opening gifts all at once on Christmas Day, spread it out over multiple days! It\u2019s more fun that way.
\n\u2022 Christmas Box. Start a Christmas Box tradition. This is just a big cardboard box wrapped with wrapping paper with something different in it each day of Christmas. This could be the method of spreading out your gift giving. Or what goes in the box could be a favorite food, fancy hot chocolate, tickets to a special event, a craft or activity to do as a family, a favorite Christmas movie, Christmas books to read out loud, etc. It doesn\u2019t have to be big and elaborate and planned (you can decide the night before what you want to put in it), but it helps extend the festivities throughout the whole Christmas season. If your kids are young, you can be the one coming up with the surprises. If you have older kids, assign different days to different members of the family.
\n\u2022 Rest. If your job and schedule allow it, make these days the ones you take off from work and other activities so you can truly rest.
\n\u2022 Fellowship. Gather with others. Host a party or just a casual dinner. People\u2019s schedules are often a lot more open after Christmas Day.
\n\u2022 Light. Light all five candles of your Advent wreath (or other candles) each day. Let light be a symbol in these 12 days of the true Light who has come into our world, illuminating our darkness. Let it remind you that we are called to be His light in this world.
\n\u2022 Music. Now is the time to bring out the joyful Christmas music! Sing the beautiful Christmas carols listed below. (We know you\u2019ve already gotten a hefty dose of \u201cJingle Bells\u201d and \u201cFrosty the Snowman.\u201d) If you\u2019re not a musical family, gather around the computer and pull the songs up on YouTube and sing along! It might be goofy, but it might also become a good memory.
\n\u2022 \u201cWhat Child Is This?,\u201d \u201cHark The Herald Angels Sing,\u201d \u201cAngels We Have Heard on High,\u201d \u201cWhile Shepherds Watched Their
\n\u2022 Flocks,\u201d \u201cGood Christian Men, Rejoice,\u201d \u201cO Come, All Ye Faithful\u201d
\n\u2022 If you liked Simple Advent, try this \u201cSimple Christmas\u201d Spotify playlist also curated by Tsh Oxenreider. \u201cIrish Country Christmas\u201d is also a solid choice, and \u201cCarols from King\u2019s\u201d will take you back to your traditional, choral roots
\n\u2022 Family Time. At the very least take some time for your family to sit down and enjoy life together. Talk. Play games. If you haven\u2019t already heard of it, here\u2019s a fun game that can be a redeemed way of using our devices in a group setting. (Note: a few of these games have mildly inappropriate content, but there is a children\u2019s mode you can turn on.) If you want to buy a game, Drawful is a good place to start.
\n\u2022 Be a Good Sport. Don\u2019t always force your teens to do things they hate. Ask them what they want to do all together. And then don\u2019t complain about what they choose.
\n\u2022 Epiphany. Have an Epiphany celebration! The season that follows Christmas is Epiphany, which begins on January 6. The message of Epiphany is Christ\u2019s revelation to the Gentiles, which began with His revelation to the magi when they came bearing gifts. Most of us are Gentiles, so this should definitely be cause for celebrating for us. It\u2019s fun to save one last gift for this day, because this is truly the day for gift-giving! Talk about what it means that we, by grace, are included in God\u2019s family.
\n\u2022 One idea for younger children is to keep the magi out of your nativity. Each day of the 12 days of Christmas, hide them somewhere else in the house, until they finally arrive to visit and give gifts to Jesus on January 6.
\n\u2022 A meaningful Epiphany tradition is called \u201cchalking the door.\u201d On your doorpost, write \u201c20+C+M+B+18\u201d (or whichever year it is) with chalk. \u201cThe crosses symbolize Christ. The three letters have a double meaning. They\u2019re the initials for the traditional names of the magi: Caspar, Melchior, and Balthasar. And they\u2019re an acronym for a Latin blessing, Christus mansionem benedicat, which means, \u2018May Christ bless this house.\u2019\u201d
\n\u2022 Choose your favorite ethnic food to eat on Epiphany to help remember our unity in Christ with all believers across the world.
\n\u2022 Epiphanytide lasts through the beginning of Lent. Epiphany helps us remember that Christ was made known to us and is made known to others in and through us. As we live out this season of the Christian calendar and finish out the Advent\/Christmas\/Epiphany act of the drama, we can live into the ministry and work God has for us in whichever sphere of work and life we are part of. There is no secular\/sacred divide. We are co-creators with Him in this world and all can be done to His glory.<\/p>\n
How do we deal with hard people around the holidays?<\/p>\n
Hard people aren\u2019t just in your crazy extended family. Sometimes your teens are those hard people. Sometimes we are the hard people. We can give grace because grace has been given to us. We can love others by giving them the freedom we\u2019ve been given. This is easier said than done, and sometimes it\u2019s really, really complicated. But let\u2019s not forget the person across the table from us is a beloved image-bearer of God too.<\/p>\n
Also, let\u2019s stop expecting perfection. Real life isn\u2019t perfect. Real life has grumpy great uncles and particular cooks and food allergies and babies who refuse to sleep, even on Christmas Eve. We want to live life in the big moments, in the holidays and the honeymoons and the excitement. We prefer \u201clife with all the dull bits cut out.\u201d But some years, even Christmas can be one of those dull bits. Daily, monotonous, familiar life is where we practice true faithfulness.<\/p>\n
How can I celebrate when Christmas just brings pain and sadness?<\/p>\n
It is easy to feast when life is going well, when we aren\u2019t facing tragedy or unemployment or illness or poverty. We rightly celebrate and thank God for our homes, our health, safety, our food, warm coats, loving families, meaningful work, the abundance we\u2019ve been given, etc. All these things are wonderful and worth thanking God for. Outside of God\u2019s blessing and grace, we would have none of these. All good things come from His hand.<\/p>\n
But what do we do when all of this is gone? What do we do when Christmas arrives in a torrent of devastation, and it only pours salt on the wound of all that is lacking and all wrong in our lives? Or when it brings emotion and the heartache of missing those who are no longer here with us?<\/p>\n
To think of ourselves as blessed when things are going well and lacking when they\u2019re not will only lead to despair in the end. Because, inevitably, something will go wrong. We might hold on as tightly as we can to the good things we have, but we have no power ourselves to keep our lives how we want them to be.<\/p>\n
The world\u2019s version of celebration might have nothing to offer you this year. But there is a greater truth out there. True blessing isn\u2019t about what we possess but rather about a relational reality. It\u2019s the overflow of a relationship of favor, which, by grace, is the relationship we have. We are in relationship with the One who desires our flourishing\u2014flourishing beyond what we can fathom\u2014and who desires truly abundant life for us\u2014life beyond our imaginations. This means that hard, devastating things can be blessings because God can use them to draw us to Himself and to cause life and flourishing to spring up. But things we consider good can be curses, when they make us think we\u2019re doing all right on our own or when they make us think we\u2019ve done something to earn what we\u2019ve been given. Blessing, in whatever form it comes, is anything God uses to reveal His unfathomable love to us. In the midst of the darkest, most bleak of circumstances, Jesus was born. Light came into the darkness. There is hope, even when all looks hopeless.<\/p>\n
Happiness is fleeting. Christmas doesn\u2019t mean you have to fake it and conjure up positive emotions. We can be real about the hurt and pain in our lives. Feasting in the midst of pain says something powerful to the world around us. Without Christ, we have nothing. And by having Christ we have everything. When we seek God with our hearts, souls, and minds, we find not just things but a Person, not just momentary pleasures but eternal joy. Joy given as a gift, joy no one can take away.<\/p>\n
We gaze longingly toward the day when all happiness and joy will be ours to experience in full. But today, whether life feels more like feast or famine, we can rest in the One who not only gives us good things but gave us Himself.
\n\u201cThough the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,
\nthough the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,
\nthough there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
\nyet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.\u201d
\n\u2014Habakkuk 3:17\u201318
\n\u201cThe people walking in darkness haveseen a great light;
\non those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.\u201d
\n\u2014Isaiah 9:2<\/p>\n
Recommended Reading
\n\u2022 Ancient-Future Time by Robert E. Webber
\n\u2022 You Are What You Love by James K. A. Smith
\n\u2022 Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren
\n\u2022 keepingadvent.com\/christmas-season
\n\u2022 The Annotated Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens with notes by Michael Patrick Kearn<\/p>\n
Notes<\/p>\n
1. James K. A. Smith, You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power of Habit (Grand Rapids, MI: Brazos Press, 2016), 127.<\/p>\n
2. Demi, The Legend of Saint Nicholas (New York: Margaret K. McElderry Books, 2003), 5.<\/p>\n
title A parent\u2019s guide to 12 days of christmas<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A PARENT\u2019S GUIDE TO 12 Days of Christmas A PARENT\u2019S GUIDE TO 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS Published by David C Cook 4050 Lee Vance Drive Colorado Springs, CO 80918 U.S.A. Integrity Music Limited, a Division of David C Cook Eastbourne, East Sussex BN23 6NT, England The graphic circle C logo is a registered trademark of … <\/p>\n